Still Struggling

Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought. - Napoleon Hill 

I have been struggling for at least the last the last month with just what to do with this blog. My primary purpose for doing this blog was to write. Just write. The topic and subject material were immaterial. I have long heard that the trick to becoming a writer is to write. Starting up a blog and committing myself to it seemed like a good way to get myself to write. And it has worked in that regard.



I do feel I have improved in my writing, but I still have a long ways to go if I want to be a writer. Which I do. I even start a writing course at UBC next week. My problem with this blog has been in my motivation and inspiration.


When I started this blog I was living in a recovery house, and recovery was what I lived and breathed. I may suffer from a bit of OCD. I have since burned out a bit on the subject. Not that I have gone back to active addiction, but what I have done is rediscovered balance and moderation. Instead of focusing on what I cannot do - "complete abstinence" - I have learned to accept myself and live with myself. I find that this is easier when I feel I am productive and useful. Working allot and writing (often simultaneously) contribute immensely towards my sense of well-being. Feeling productive and useful. When I feel useful, I am feeling good. Feeling shitty to me is synonomous with feeling useless.


Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them. - Leo Tolstoy


I am going to open things up here in my field. Share what's on my mind. Write about whatever. Just write. And feel better doing it. Do my best expressing myself for the sake of expression. It's not as if anybody reads this anyways, or cares what I write here. It's good for me to remember who I am writing for - me!


Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end. - Anonymous


http://ferenczyram.blogspot.com

-- Sent from my palm Pre