Rebirth Through Horror

‎"This deed [the hero-quest] accomplished, life no longer suffers hopelessly under the terrible mutilations of ubiquitous disaster, battered by time, hideous throughout space; but with its horror visible still, its cries of anguish still tumultuous, it becomes penetrated by an all-suffusing, all-sustaining love, and a knowledge of its own unconquered power." - Joseph Campbell

As I meet the day anew I cannot help but to have an entirely new perspective on this quote.

Yesterday I was all to close to a stabbing and a suicide by jumping. I didn't actually witness either incident. But the timing was pretty tight and I did witness the resulting mess both times. Seeing such ugliness puts the beauty of creation into it's proper perspective.



This is nowhere near the first time I have seen life at it's brutal worst. I am grateful in a sense for the level of exposure I have had as I it has given me the perspective and outlook I now hold. It helps me to appreciate the life I have now - the life that I still have. I have seen (or been close enough to know what happened) more than my share of human beings struck down in what could easily be described as totally random highway and workplace accidents. The guy a mile in front of me who hits the moose could have been me, etc. There are so many events that I am oblivious to where I may have missed death or misery by mere moments. And there are many that I am fully aware of and those memories stand out in memory allot more brightly than most other episodes in my life storey.

Gurdief says that we spend most of our lives in a state that is more asleep than awake. That most of our memories are in fact beliefs that we convinced our selves are real events. But that we know those moments when we were truly awake and aware (and alive) because we have full sensory awareness of those moments. Those moments in your life that stand out more than a little bit brighter, that you can still smell, still feel, those were the moments in which you were fully present, fully awake.

I have a few such memories. Like most people I struggle to be and stay awake in the world, aware in the now. The majority of those moments tend to be strongly associated with some sort of trauma or crisis. Death was often all too close.

I have seen the terrible mutilations of ubiquitous disaster, it's horror visible still, it's cries of anguish still tumultuous. I can feel, see, hear, smell and taste the the complete saturation and penetration of an all-sustaining life-force (love) and I KNOW it's unconquered power.

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-- Sent from my palm Pre