Recovery Dictionary

"By studying the principles of symbolism we can learn not to be unconsciously influenced by language, and in this way can escape a host of erroneous notions."— Bertrand Russell

This is my online Recovery Dictionary. It is a work in progress. Each word will link to the essay in which it appeared, or was most prominent in the case of words which have been in more than one essay. I am a firm believer in the power of language and by extension, belief. I am learning to be more mindful of my thoughts and beliefs, and I have found that actually choosing what specific words mean to me to be a powerful tool in my recovery. It is my goal to continuously update this particular page with each new essay. I hope to be up to the challenge, as I already have some difficulty meeting my current goal of six posts per month. It will be fun to try at the very least.

Positive Influence

"It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people's lives." — Clint Eastwood

I find that sometimes it can be difficult to know when I am struggling in the right direction. I need to remember that I am struggling with my recovery, against my disease, my addiction. Sometimes I forget who the enemy is, and who my allies are. When it comes to picking my allies, I do have a choice. I have to use caution and discretion when exercising this power, this power of choice. The people I surround myself with are the bastions of my recovery, my front line defense against relapse. Especially while I am still fairly early in my recovery. I must never forget how susceptible I still am to the influence of those around me, whether overt or covert.

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

Freedom Power

Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide. — Napoleon Bonaparte

I was recently asked to come up with one word which I felt best described how I felt about "power". The word I chose was "choice". I believe power is about service. Power is meant to be used in the service of others. That is a positive use of power, power put to "good use". Unfortunately, in recent history what we witness most, what we are most aware of is power being put to use for selfish ends, power put to "bad" use. This is generally the power of coercion, not what can I do FOR you, but what I can do TO you. Many people I talk to about power will talk about it's coercive aspects. About getting others to do what they don't really want to do themselves (what nobody really wants to do, and what usually benefits only a few people the most). They think that by having great power they will no longer have to clean their own toilets. Answer their own phone. For some people having power means being able to do and have whatever they want.

choice - the right, power, or opportunity to choose; option:

Destiny Manifest

"Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny." — Frank Mckinney Hubbard

I recently asked a wise friend of mine what the opposite of control was. His answer, although it caught me off guard, upon further reflection made perfect sense. Serenity. When I'm in control (or trying to be) I don't have time to be serene. Not to mention the fact that my attempts at control (especially over events and people) will tend to meet with frustration (if I am honest with myself and not in denial). With enough coercion and manipulation I can exercise some control over others, but such behavior is definitely not conducive to serenity.

control - to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command; to hold in check; curb.

Be Humble or Be Humbled

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle." — Benjamin Franklin

Every day I learn a deeper appreciation of humility. As a spiritual principal it is vital to my recovery. I feel it is the foundation. Which makes sense when I realize that the root of the word comes from "earth". One meaning of humility is "down to Earth". A healthy sense of humility keeps me grounded. Humility is essential if I am to truly know myself, who I really am. Without it I start to believe I am my "stuff", my experiences, even the opinions I or others may on occasion hold about me. None of these things are me (good or bad). Like Ben said, once we strip all the extra non-self stuff away, there isn't a whole lot left. Knowing who I am allows me to be comfortable in my own skin. This frees me from the obsession to use - anything. As an addict I like to use anything I can to distract me from feeling. Feeling anything really. Or just being in the moment, in and with myself.

"Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all." — William Temple