A Night at the Coloseum

Field trip day for my writing class. We are taking a tour of the central branch of the Vancouver Public Library. www.vpl.ca

It's A Gas in Gastown.

The Evil of Suffering

It is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival." - Winston Churchill

Sometimes I find myself wishing that certain aspects of reality didn't exist. That the way it is just isn't so. But it is what it is. Regardless of how much I bitch and moan about all the things I don't like and refuse to accept as part of the reality I exist in.

Eastcide

Some interesting synchronicity happening within my perception. Ironic would be neither inaccurate nor inappropriate in describing the latest episode.

I live and work in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside (DTES). It is a distinct and unique neighborhood. There really is no other place quite like it. It is also quite notorious.

A Victim of Fate

No Matter how Afraid you are, you must keep going

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." - Thomas Merton

Balance is easy when life is going smoothly. It's when things get bumpy that it becomes more challenging to stay balanced and poised. The unknown can also add a level of difficulty. When I believe know exactly what is happening and what will happen I can relax and not have to worry or be afraid. Worry and fear more often impede performance than boost it.

"Definition of a victim: a person to whom life happens." - Peter McWilliams 

The Fruit of Balance

now what?

Balance, peace, and joy are the fruit of a successful life. It starts with recognizing your talents and finding ways to serve others by using them. - Thomas Kinkade

I really like that quote. It jarred my perspective on balance. I had always thought of it as a prerequisite for a successful life - the root, not the fruit. I can see now that balance is an end more than a means (not that it ever "ends").

Which becomes increasingly difficult to achieve and maintain as I set my sights higher. I know I have been struggling to maintain my "balance" over the past week. So many new variables introduced into the daily rhythm of my life. Death & destruction, new teeth, back in school (after nearly 20 years), and a new laptop have all contributed towards making this a challenging week.

Toothless Wander

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William Arthur Ward

(I wrote this last night in my writing class so the time-frame is off by a day)

I am feeling a little off-center. I seem to have misplaced my comfort zone. I received my new teeth yesterday. I find myself wondering "whose mouth am I wearing?" Immediately upon leaving the dentists a good friend of mine took me out for breakfast at a near-by greasy spoon. I hadn't had a good "breakfast special" in a while so I was really looking forward to it. But the new mouth made enjoying the meal very difficult. Speaking was as difficult as chewing. I really wanted to take them out but I need to get used to them and chewing my food was a big reason for getting them - besides I paid good money for 'em so they are staying in! But it was awkward and uncomfortable and not at all as enjoyable as a nice greasy breakfast should be. The rest of the day was a real struggle to not just pull them out, but leave them in I did. Bedtime was a relief as I finally took them out as per the doctor's instructions (Ya I know he's a dentist but I love him and he's Doc to me).

Making A Difference.

FROM WIKIPEDIA
"By its very nature, the Fourth Way is not for everyone. Gurdjieff said that the so-called "secret knowledge" of his transformational system is not "hidden", but that most people are simply not interested. Gurdjieff referred to those capable of receiving the work as "five of twenty of twenty" - only twenty per cent of all people ever think seriously about higher realities. Of these, only twenty per cent ever decide to do anything about it. And of these, only five per cent ever actually get anywhere, or one in five hundred"

Is it wrong to give money to the homeless?

How do you know the person is homeless? What are you giving them the money for? Are you paying them for being homeless? To make yourself feel better for having "made a difference"? Or simply to help another human being?

Rebirth Through Horror

‎"This deed [the hero-quest] accomplished, life no longer suffers hopelessly under the terrible mutilations of ubiquitous disaster, battered by time, hideous throughout space; but with its horror visible still, its cries of anguish still tumultuous, it becomes penetrated by an all-suffusing, all-sustaining love, and a knowledge of its own unconquered power." - Joseph Campbell

As I meet the day anew I cannot help but to have an entirely new perspective on this quote.

Yesterday I was all to close to a stabbing and a suicide by jumping. I didn't actually witness either incident. But the timing was pretty tight and I did witness the resulting mess both times. Seeing such ugliness puts the beauty of creation into it's proper perspective.

Out of Sync

 “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations" - Charles R. Swindoll


Feeling a little off stride today. Witnessing death is a little unbalancing. I will use this opportunity to regain my equilibrium and focus. The subjects I had planned to write about will happen eventually, but not today. I will just have to roll with it for now.

Something to Smile For

Very awkward. That is how I would describe my mouth right now. I finally received my new teeth this morning. It's going to take some getting used to.  I need to relearn how to speak again. And eating...

It's a bit of a pain. I know that once I get used to it eating will be better. For one thing, it was my upper front teeth that I was missing, which means that I can once again bite things. I am really looking forward to corn-on-the-cob, and unsliced apples.

Coincidental Optimist

It is such a complex matter we live within, it is impossible to track logic and decision making really, so therefore each choice can actually only be seen as coincidence. - Alva Noto 

My motto in life has for a long time been "if you believe it, it's true!" Since I believe it, it is in fact true. Since that is the lense through which I see the world, I am continuously witnessing more evidence to support my belief. I really think being anything other than optimistic as being stupid (sorry all you pessimists, but since I believe you are stupid it is therefore true - to me). Unless you happen to be quite lazy. In that case being pessimistic is just being realistic in evaluating your chances of getting anything done without actually getting off your ass.

Synchronicity

How do I know that God speaks to me through coincidence? I don't. I don't know that God speaks to me. I don't know that God speaks. I don't know God. I don't know anything at all.

Entitlement

"the face of God is the face that is before you: your friend, a stranger, whomever." - Joseph Campbell speaking of the Gnostic Message (via James Joyce)

There has been some awesome discussions going on at Joseph Campbells FaceBook page. Since my last post was so much work I may as well blog it, ;) here goes....

And The Winner is...

gridlock on the the knight st bridge

An awesome time was had by all is the unanimous verdict. Everybody is still too giddy to bitch about how heinous the gridlock is. Quite a few of the folks here say this was their first time on a go-kart, and how surprized they are at how fun it was. I am sure that I heard "the most fun in my life" more than once.

A Night At The Races

TBC Indoor Track
www.tbcir.ca

Better 2 Hours Late than ?

Leo finally showed up. Then we made various stops. Prebooked reservations and avoiding rush hour traffic are not concepts he has a strong grasp of.

Traffic was gridlocked on Knight st so he tried an alternate route. At least that's my theory for what we are doing. Other theories include: "breaking in the new tires", "testdriving the GPS on his iPhone" and "preplanning his Christmas Lights tour".

http://ferenczyram.blogspot.com

-- Sent from my palm Pre

Interuptions

Speaking of filmwork, these guys have been filming across the street from my work all summer. I believe it is a TV Show called "Life, Inerrupted". I could be wrong.

V for Vancouver

I know what they were filming. It's the new television series"V". I remember the movie and the original series. I think there was a couple mini-series as well. I believe there were even some comic books. It's a franchise which I never got into, which I think is true for a lot of people.

I wish them luck. I would like to see them around town for the next few years, especially without Battlestar Galactica, and less Stargate shows. I haven't seen Smallville around for awhile either. Are they still on the air or did they relocate I wonder? I still see lots of filming going on, but I hear the industry has slowed down a bit.

http://ferenczyram.blogspot.com

-- Sent from my palm Pre

A NY Minute

Walking home from the skytrain when I came across this NYC taxi-cab. That fare has gotta hurt...

Probably filming something, probably something sci-fi...

http://ferenczyram.blogspot.com

-- Sent from my palm Pre

Campus Life

I really love Vancouver. It has so much going for it. Living in the heart fo Gastown doesn't hurt. The women here are gorgeous! Especially downtown. The night life down here is quite vibrant, although that means nothing to me since I grew out of that stuff years ago, I still think it's cool and always appreciate the extra effort the ladies put into themselves before coming down.

Spent a few hours tonite on the campus out at UBC. Didn't take me long to remember why I like school so  much...

Back To School

My face feels funny. At least I can feel it now. I went to the dentist this morning for what I hope is my very last filling, ever. I'm sure that a significant portion of the few teeth I have remaining have been sculpted and those few segments of natural enamel will be maintained properly. That's my intention at least. I hope I've finally learned the importance of oral hygene.... I get my dentures next week. My dentist covered most of the costs. You're awesome Shawn!

Labour Day

Interesting that after 13 days in a row my first day off is Labour Day. I keep forgetting it's not Sunday today, not that you can tell. I am really enoying doing nothing. Which is also what I mostly do at work. Amazing how tiring doing nothing can be.

Why I Love My (crappy) Job

As I continue to decline "better" employment opportunities, I can't help but appreciate the job I already have. I could easily argue that it is shittiest job I have ever had. Extremely low pay. Long hours. Dealing with too many difficult people. Cleaning toilets. And plenty more excuses to hate my job if I want to look for them.