I seem to be finding life rather calm and peaceful nowadays. Tranquility is not that difficult for me to find me at this time. I am not actually working at a job, but focusing full-time on me. That would seem to help keep stress to a minimum. But I think the key to my serenity is more than just being out of the "rat-race". I am only able to do this because I have made a decision to let go of any attachment or desire for material things at this time, and leave the accumulation of "stuff" to a later date (if ever). This is for me a result of learning gratitude and humility.
serene - calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled
In NA we say that "surrender means not having to fight anymore". To fight is to struggle. I used to fight everything. Not other people so much (despite being in Martial Arts most of my life). But life, definitely. I find it very difficult to be grateful in life when I am struggling.
struggle -to contend with an adversary or opposing force; to advance with violent effort
Just as I have come to be aware of the futility, silliness and down-right arrogance of carrying a resentment against the universe, I have also come to realize that struggling against life is just as silly. Believing Life, the Universe or God is my enemy is down-right unhealthy, and to be brutally honest - stupid (or not very smart if stupid is too harsh a word). I have committed more than my share of stupidity, but thankfully this is one I am learning to grow out of. It can be extremely hard I know to let go of the struggle. But so liberating. It is this lesson in particular that has made me the most grateful towards my addiction. If not for my out-of-control drug habit, I probably never would have surrendered. I would have continued to struggle through life. I would have continued to try and control everyone and everything around me.
surrender - to cease trying to control or retain and agree to yield
yield - to give or render as fitting, required, or rightfully owed
render - to give back or restore
The most beautiful consequence of giving everything back to "God" is that if I really need it, or if it really is good for me, I get to keep it! But only if I completely let it go first. This can be hard to do without faith. I have never felt stronger since I learned how to surrender and stop fighting. The struggle only weakens us all. I learned from Joseph Campbell that we become what we fight, which is why it is nearly impossible to defeat evil by fighting it. And we can never "defeat" life, so why fight it?
The word "surrender" is often interpreted as giving up, as weakness, as admitting defeat. Although this is one way to use the word, we will use it in a different way. Surrendering means letting go of your resistance to the total openness of who you are. It means giving up the tension of the little vortex you believe yourself to be and realizing the deep power of the ocean you truly are. It means to open with no boundaries, emotional or physical, so you ease wide beyond any limiting sense of self you might have. - David Deida
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