Lucky Days

Danger from Above!

Fucking Shithawks.

I really do love all of God's creatures, but lately I seem to run a-fowl of the feathered ones. I swear they've been out to get me.



Sometimes when I'm at work I like to stand outside in front of the building and enjoy my coffee. A week or two ago I was doing just that. As usual I was also playing with my phone (prorbably writing something). I was slowly walking, pacing really when I heard this SPLAT right behind. I looked down and right where I had been standing was a fresh bird turd. I looked up in the tree branches above me and there sits a crow - staring me straight in the eye. He gives a little squawk and hop and takes off. I am certain he intentionally tried to shit on me!

A couple of hours later I am walking on a sidewalk a block away when I hear another SPLAT! This one even louder but just as close. I look down behind me and it's not birdshit this time, but a big, wet, slimy rotting leaf. I look up and sitting in the roof gutter is a crow looking me straight in the eye! He gives a little hop and a squawk and takes off. It's hard to be certain but I am pretty sure it was the same crow as earlier. Little fuckers! They definitey have a (sick) sense of humour.

Yesterday I am walking to work and as I am walking through the park all the seagulls take off - and SPLAT! - I get nailed on the shoulder, just barely missing my ear. Steaming and stinking! Very unpleasant - but to all but me, hilarious.

There seems to be this myth about it being good luck when a bird craps on you. I've been hit three or four times now in the past few years. I don't feel any luckier. I think this myth was created when some V.I.P. was shat upon. To stop everyone from laughing. Just my theory.

http://elgoosopimpo.blogspot.com/2007/07/bird-poop-and-luck-myth.html

http://www.facebook.com/pages/birds-shitting-on-you-isnt-good-luck-it-just-means-you-need-another-shower/187116093251?ref=ts

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-- Sent from my palm Pre